How to Develop an Attractive Personality

Have you ever noticed how some people just walk into a room and light up the place?  Have you always wanted to be like these people? So it’s a new year and it’s time for a new you. A charismatic, magnetic, attractive and more confident you. Here are seven sure shot and super easy techniques to be this new person.  So, let’s know how to be this attractive and magnetic personality.


7 Personality Enhancing/Development Tips

You know, when you go onto the internet, you’ll find a gazillion tips on this topic. But today, in this article, I’m going to give you my own secret, tried and tested, very, very easy and surefire techniques to be this person.


No.1 –  Conversation Ratio

Listening is this magnetic and strange thing, like a creative force. And the friend who listens to us is the one that we are drawn towards. So the perfect conversation ratio is 75% listening and 25% speaking.


And also when someone is talking to you, cultivate the art of active listening. So like nodding your head and going like, Hmm, wow, yeah, amazing, really superb. So when you’re listening to them, they get really talking to you.


And try to connect something that they told you the last time. For example, hey, my son, how’s your father doing now? Also avoid the me too syndrome. You know, when somebody talks to us, we have a tendency to say, hey, that happened to me too.

But it’s not about you. It’s about them. And always maintain kind eyes and a warm, appreciative smile.


And you’re going to see people attracted to you like a magnet.

No. 2 – Icebreaker Jokes.

Famous actor Jim Carrey once said that, I become more attractive when I laugh at myself.

Now, no friendly conversation is complete without some leg pulling and laughing. And a person becomes truly charismatic when they can confidently laugh at themselves. It shows that they’re comfortable in their own skin and it kind of relaxes the group immediately. They see the more human side of you and warm up to you instantly. So have a good laugh at yourself.

No. 3 – Name Card.

You know, in the Egyptian mythology, Ra, the sun god, had to walk through the darkness every night and fend off these monsters. And the only reason why the monsters couldn’t attack him was because he knew their true names.

And this idea of the true names giving you power also is seen in some sci-fi movies. And the same theme runs through the German fairy tale of Rumpelstiltskin. So knowing somebody’s name is like having some power over them.

So when you’re talking to somebody, use their name frequently. Like, hey Jack, how have you been? Haven’t seen you in a while. Now don’t crazily overdo it.

And the big mistake here is to fumble and say, hey Per-cher-mer, make sure you remember their name and you use it frequently.

No-4   –  The Secret Strategy.

Now should I tell you the secret strategy or not? Only on one condition, if you promise not to tell anyone.

Okay, deal. Come closer. In his book, Influence, The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert Cialdini talks about the scarcity principle.

He says that when something is scarce or it’s in shortage, people find it attractive. Now for a person, we call it the secret strategy, which means that if you tell somebody a secret, they kind of think that you trust them and in turn, they trust you back. So if you want this close circle of friends, make sure that you tell them a little secret about yourself and they’re going to like you that much more and trust you also a little more and feel closer to you.

But make sure that you’re telling them your own secret and don’t tell the secret of friend number A to friend number B because that’s like..

No. 5 – Roots of interest.

Now have you ever met a person who can bore you to death by talking about the same topic over and over again? Yeah, me too. Now a charismatic person is one who can talk fluently on a wide range of topics.

So the key here is to develop passion and interest in different topics while being sensitive to others and respecting their own maybe preferences, thoughts and opinions. And also when you show interest in something they’re passionate about, they’re certainly going to get attracted towards you.

No. 6 – Magnet of friends.

Now if you have this home of friends and build this great relationship with people by socializing often, it’ll be a great source of confidence for you. But it’s important to be genuinely kind, caring, helpful and appreciative of people. People actually like you not only for who you are but for how you make them feel.

And if you make them feel good, then you will be this perfect magnet for all your friends.

No. 7 –  The art of saying no.

I know how difficult it is to get out of bed on a weekend especially after you’ve had a really tiring week.

But what’s more difficult is to say no to this over excited friend for a group meetup. It’s kind of this fine balance between being a likable and a rude person. But a charismatic and confident person is one who can say no politely and yet firmly.

So you could say, sorry, I don’t think I’ll be able to do this today for some opportunity that you may not be able to fully oblige. Or, no thanks, I don’t think I need this today to a pushy salesperson. Or you can say, thank you, but I think I’ll give it a miss.

Or, I’m afraid I have another commitment for an unwanted invitation. And if you say all of this with a smile, you will sound like a firm and confident person without sounding arrogant. So I hope these seven techniques are going to help you become this charismatic, magnetic, attractive and super confident person.


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